JOB OFFER: Sanitation Department Hiring; All Positions

Sept.24, 2178–New-Den No one is dreaming of working for the sanitation department as a kid. But beggars can’t be choosers, right? You need a job, right? Are you a Swellian or a Surface Dweller?

That’s right, you grew up down here, in the pit of the city. You’ve smelt like a garbage can your entire life. And don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the smell of the city’s streets. Just because you’ve grown used to it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t whip you in the face every time you step out the door.

And we’ve all heard the stories. Jon Abernathy will never get that foot back. Lung disease can’t be avoided. Your kids will be born with asthma anyway. Just look at the perks, instead:

  • A free hot shower every day in the sanitation department locker room
  • Apartment stipend for you and your family and preferred placement in apartments at higher levels of the Swell if your assignments are on the surface (They don’t want you so far down, so you won’t smell as bad when you wipe their toilets)
  • Meal stipend, which is enough to cover 30% of your monthly meals
  • Hot meals at work for you
  • Enrollment in an educational program for children that wish to fast track to a sanitation career

Listen, as much as we hate the state and the shit they put us through (literally, in this case), our duty to you is to find the best ways to take advantage of them, to fight against them, and to improve your lives.

What better way to do all three than by making them pay you better for jobs that even we in the Swell don’t want.

If you’d like to catch the latest job updates and news that the surface doesn’t want you to hear, join us, The Outsiders.