Flesh Eating Fungus Shuts Down Bottom Feeder Bar

Aug. 23, 2178– New-Den– The popular Bottom Feeder bar on the Swell’s main loop is shut down for the rest of the weekend for a full decontamination by the Swell Department of Hazardous Waste.

This department is comprised, almost entirely, of Swell sewage and trash disposal personnel, and created over the weekend to dispose of the fungus found at Bottom Feeder bar. What will happen to the department after the cleanup? So far, authorities have not let on, but most Swell residents are doubtful it will stick around.

One resident, who wishes to remain anonymous, made comments to our source as he was pulled from the bar by Trols during the initial lock down.

“We wuz drinkin’ wit Mizz Mira n’ they’z comin’ n’ trow us ou’. ‘Bout time they’z did somethin’ dun here, bu’ it won’ las’. They’z only duz it becuz o’ the worka’z that’z goes up, ya kno’.”

His comments are in reference to a Swell resident, Demetrius Can, thought to be the first resident to be exposed to the fungus and develop symptoms, who was found dead in the home of his employer in the Outline.

The fungus continued to grow on Mr. Can’s skin, and it’s possible that he spread the fungus to other locations. The home in the Outline is undergoing decontamination along with Bottom Feeder bar, but no word on whether their search for the fungus will extend throughout the Swell.

If you discover a purplish fuzz that turns an orange tint when exposed to heat, call… At this time, no contact information has been released for further exposures. If you experience any symptoms, such as difficulty breathing, or a red-purple rash on any patch of skin, you’re encouraged to visit your local urgent care. There is no treatment yet for this fungus, but our sources tell us “they’re working on it.”

If you’re sick of the lack of coverage on the conditions here in the Swell, then join us, the Outsiders. Get updates everyday on the community you live in, by people that live alongside you.

*Remember, the Outsiders is an illegal news outlet. We are not liable if you are caught by Trols. Listener discretion is advised.

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The Bottom Feeders Provide New Jobs For The Swell

July 7, 2179— New-Den      If you belong to the 38% of the unemployed in the Swell, then get your holos out because we’ve heard of an opportunity.

We all know how ineffective our street cleaners are. Those little machines that we manufacture right here in the Swell, are made of used parts from toys and junk that they pass down to us from the surface. They’re pointlessly created, but we’ll keep the jobs, and let the surface keep their face.

Still, we’re left with the issue of these “cleaners” sucking up shards of glass and bits of metal that cut up its insides and destroy its purpose. We still have junkers knocking them over, letting them run their motors until they die, or until a Trol comes along to repost it.

A few in Treeline alley were caught spitting the trash out right after slurping it up. Another on main street was caught trying to suck up a cat.

So, here’s your opportunity. The Bottom Feeders are hiring 120 cleaners to follow the street cleaners and do the job they were designed to. See Amira at The Bottom Feeder bar on main street for more information.